I am a slacker and I am not ashamed of it!
For real.
I think this hard-work-ambition-goal-driven thing is overrated. Considering that we loafers are the majority in this world, I think it is time that we celebrate our sameness. In a society as divided as ours, the shared goal of remaining goalless deserves a mention as the one uniting factor for 70 percent of the population around the globe.
I spend much of my time at the office thinking of creative ways to exploit my laziness. The 2007 Wasting Time Survey from Salary.com says I am no different from 44.7 percent of Americans who said personal Internet surfing was their primary time-wasting activity at the office. 23.4 percent said they’d rather socialize with their co-workers than do their jobs and 6.8 percent nicked off from the office to conduct personal business.
My Internet surfing exploits take me to some really weird and wacky places on the World Wide Web. Today, I was thrilled to find a wonderfully frivolous website – Subservient Chicken.com – which satisfied my need to engage in inane activity. Subservient Chicken.com is a play off Burger King’s “Have it Your Way” campaign, allowing you to type in any command and the human-sized chicken on the other side responds to your every whim. I got him to read a book, propose to me, and dance like Britney Spears. The guy on the other side of the Internet must have an immeasurable amount of patience to remain on stand by, responding to requests from hundreds of people around the world.
I also came across a strangely attractive blog told through the eyes of some man’s soggy feet. Leo’s Foot Blog contains a large number of pictures and commentary on life from a pair of rather big feet. I don’t have a foot fetish, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the bizarre photos of Leo’s feet.
Fanaticism has always appealed to me because it is against the very nature of who I am. If I can’t find the will power to feed myself, I certainly can’t find it in me to slit the throat of someone who doesn’t share my beliefs. But I admire fanatics and the author of Jesus Is Savior.com has me hooked. He has an overwhelmingly poorly designed website that is a mess of colors, graphics and the insane ranting of a Christomilitaristic mind. But it is a great one-stop shop for all manner of conspiracy theories from Spider Goats to Satanism in the Vatican.
My last time waster, a site I visit everyday, is Cool Hunter.net. Like Jesus Is Savior.com, Cool Hunter represents every thing I am not. It has news and reviews on all that is hip, trendy and fashionable. It is great site to see the newest luxury boutique hotels I will never stay in and the most beautiful shoes I will never afford. A visit to the site everyday transports me into a world of what I could have been if only I could figure out how to meet Michael Ezra and live a full loafer’s life.
Bumming Oyee!
