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Why fuel and food prices in Uganda continue to soar and no one is saying ‘oy!’
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Why intercontinental air travel in Africa remains so expensive that the cheapest ticket for a 45 minute no-frills flight from Entebbe to Nairobi is $270.
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Why an unmarried man in his mid 30s is an eligible bachelor and a woman of the same age is an old maid.
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Why Andrew Mwenda is arrested and it makes international headlines and yet when 13 journalists in radio stations around the country were (between January and March this year) arrested for doing their jobs, publicly threatened by politicians and sacked for speaking the truth it barely made the news briefs in the local media.
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Why VIPs in Uganda need to be driven down Entebbe Road with police escorts and loud sirens going at 120 kmph when the speed limit is 80 kmph.
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Why no extraterrestrial beings or UFOs have ever been seen in Africa.
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Why many, many, many Kenyans still think all Ugandans speak Ugandan or Lugandan, believe we pay homage to the Kabaka and don’t know squat about the people, the culture or the history of the country next door.
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Why increasing talk about a 4th term for Yoweri Museveni is not causing more consternation and alarm among the people of Uganda.
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Why no African country has made a car as yet.
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Why despite the high incidence of crime in Karamoja, the much-neglected sub-region in northeastern Uganda has the lowest number of police per capita, fewest courts of law in the land and no one is saying ‘oy!’
Ten Things I Want Explained
34 Responses to “Ten Things I Want Explained”
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1. I say “oy” all the time but no one listens
2. N/A
3. Blame it on the ovary expiration date
4. You shouldn’t
5. They are mostly diminutive men with huge egos
6. LOL! And I dont think they ever will be; except for South Africa, which isn’t really Africa.
7. I wonder too
8. Because we are “used”
9. Again, except for South Africa
10. Oy!And, if I might add a number 11: While Tumwi is giving herself grey hairs, there are actually people being PAID to worry about most of these things from YOUR tax shillings. What’s up with that?
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sijui na sijali
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at number 8- no-one wants to go to jail just yet.
at number 1- blame America something to do with the credit crunch ,”that”.at number 4 because he is Andrew Mwenda- what is i a name?
at number 6- we see them but we call them either “night dancers” or “ghosts”
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There are answers somewhere. Everywhere in fact. If I were the 27th comerade I would spend a week here explaining the thesis, but I will save you the drivel.
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1. It’s happening all over the world, and most people are saying ‘oy!’
2. Same again.
3. 30s? That’s definitely just Africa, here 30 means you’ve just become and adult.
4. Who is Andrew Mwenda?
5. Are we allowed to shoot the VIPs? Because that would make me quite happy…or at least shoot out their tires
6. Don’t you guys get enough credit with the Nile, the lions and pyramids? You want the UFOs TOO??? Seeellllfiiiiiisssshhhhh!
7. That’s because Kenyans are stuck up and think they own Africa. Though, they are very good looking, mostly.
8. A 4th term? Even I find that alarming and I live a very nice long distance away.
9. Because cars suck and are going out of fashion and you guys just happened to realise that first.
10. OY! -
OH! And before that snobby Comrade comes along. No 1. Blame the West! Specifically America! Because they’re the leaders and therefore they can take all the blame from being a bunch of fuckwits and electing the dumbest human in existence for President!
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1. I wonder the same thing about Kenya too
2. because there are few competing airlines developing intra-africa routes. when more do, KQ and others will lower their fares
4. Andrew Mwenda is an international celebrity. imagine if he was white…
9. we did and it was a white elephant -
Hmmn
I told y’all she had “opinions”
I told y’all
Will be back… -
4th term’s got me pretty shook. and that is only because that means my grandfather Besigye(honest) may never be president.
food and gas prices soaring the world over.
i saw a UFO. i swear. do birds i do not know names for count?
MUK(tech department) made a car the other day. even katwe guys hav made cars. but do they ever get CNN time? no.
mwenda is, well, just mwenda.
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You seriously want to say ‘oy’ about fuel and food prices? It’s happening all over the world so until the world market stabilises we poor third-world (said with tongue in cheek) African countries can’t say diddly squat.
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No. 4. In this country if you don’t make noise when you are arrested, you could die mysteriously and nobody will notice. You have to make noise all the way to prison so that should anything happen to you while you are there, everybody will be suspicious of the cause of your death.
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Excellent post!
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1. We say Oy. Then more like, Oh Shit. We’re screwed. (same applies to 8, actually. And 5.
4. News Biz. Nature of the beast.
2. Biz Biz. Nature of the beast.3. It’s because we (me and those so-called Old Maids don’t care about their labels.)
6. Extraterrestial beings have been to Africa. They came to be known as Ancient Egyptians.
7. Tumwi, every place you go you will find shallow people who don’t know. Some Kenyans will think Ugandans all speak Luganda, some Ugandans will think all Kenyans are “bachukuyu”.
Bankele, I remember the Nyayo Pioneer. Thing was like a skateboard!
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meant to say: It’s because we (me and those so-called Old Maids) don’t care about their labels.
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1. Oh, we “Oy” alright. Just that the ‘people who matter’ don’t hear us!
2. and 3.[ I'm underqualified to react to those ]
4.Well, Andrew Mwenda HAS made more headlines(at other times) than all the other journalists put together…
5.You wouldn’t be asking if you were a VIP, would you?
6.We quite literally don’t have our heads in the skies-
7.Hmmm-
8.It’s get old after a while, saying: “End Museveni’s terror,” and waking up innumerable hours later to the same hapless ruler-
9……….
10. The police are afraid of the warrior kings! -
OY!!!!
It’s Bush and his cronies. The oil wells are still there and this year made record profits in the hundreds of billions! They’re just taking us for all we’ve got!
A 4th term for M7?!?!?!?! Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaym! He’s a bully. If you say something bad about him it all gets engineered so you disappear forever. African politics ain’t neva changed!
I discovered who makes the rules about men and women. The mothers. They all need to be shot in the knees. If a man brings a girl home, a mothers first concern is how young she is and how many sons she’ll give.
UFOs and Aliens are only curious about white farmers in rural places. Something about their assholes. I guess they find the rest of humanity is really quite normal.
I blogged on your blog! Hahahaha!
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About number 7: (and I’m speaking as a good looking Kenyan, obviously) it’s something I’ve also wondered about. Kenyans have become increasingly insular in recent decades, and I would be surprised if a majority of the population could tell you the name of the Tanzanian president (Museveni we know because he comes here every once a while and tells us off). I don’t know why this is.
Baz is accurate about the “Bachukuyu” fixation that I had to grapple with, but still, by and large Ugandans know more about Kenya than Kenyans know about Uganda. But rest assured, we know more about y’all than we do about, say, Ethiopia.
Which is no consolation. I’m hanging my head in shame.
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1 – it’s happening all over Africa but I think more than an “Oy” is needed
2 – why is travel from anywhere in Africa so expensive?
3 – the biological clock is tick tick tocking!!!
4 – Wtf is Andrew Mwenda? And as for todays headline!!!! “Wedding stopped at the altar”…..holy moly – has the Red Pepper editor moved to The New Vision?
5 – Another headline today….”Police Drivers are the worst offenders”
6 – Because the ET’s know that there aren’t any suckers here.
7 – To be honest….I dirrent know anything about Ugandans OR Kenyans. In fact…as a South African I know very little about Botswana for example. I think it’s just one of those things. Crappy answer I know.
8 – Because 90% of Ugandans think he’s doing a FAB job. There was a poll done at the beginning of the year.
9 – South Africa makes cars all the time. Even luxury German ones!
10 – Because from what I can gather the Karamoja people are quite agressive / violent. What policeman would WANT to work there?Nice post btw!
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@ Petesmama….South Africa IS Africa demmit!!!
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@Sarah: “Wedding stopped at the altar”…..holy moly – has the Red Pepper editor moved to The New Vision?”
Hahahaha! Very good! And rather bad for me because me being ever so far away I really shouldn’t know enough to know why that’s funny.
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lol @ detamble…
why isnt anyone saying “oy”?? tu kooye!
We have “accepted” the way things are… its our mode of “democracy”. MBU.
Y did andrew get coverage? google…. google has all the answers!
By the way the no UFO’s in Africa.. some people have suggested its coz it wld never make the news LOL… in addition to which, if u really think abt it, who ever hears anything good about Africa? apart from great vacation spots as well as HIV, rebels, malaria, weird currency conversion, questionable exchange rates, high illiteracy levels.. questionable infrastracture.. shoot i just depressed myself!
that wasnt the point, there;s nuthing huge to blow up in Africa (anyone watch Independence day? will smith.. saw the africans “defending” themselves with spears.. anyone????)
thats the reason y…..
sorry for posting….
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lol… tandra. nga i can’t remember seeing the spears & some serious ramblings…
do we say ‘oy’ in uganda? isn’t that like irish… or scotish? i think for us it would be something like ‘eh eh’ while rolling our eyes…
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Behold, the Nyayo Pioneer and as Bankelele called it, a White Elephant.
http://www.nationaudio.com/News/DailyNation/Supplements/horizon/12022004/story120220042.htm
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Why is a good question… I just hope you are not looking for a satisfactory answer… you might as well why away forever.
About UFO’s…. actually there have been plenty of sightings… we just don’t know to name things we can’t identify as unidentifiable… we dig into our culture and name them after something we can identify… mzungu, smoking snake etc
And I didn’t know you had stopped paying homage to the Kabaka… When did that happen… and why haven’t the educators in Kenya not been informed?
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1. very worried esp. about the food prices. even rolex is up. the goin done gone tough.
3. a ugandan gal becomes ripe at 18. now, a ripe fruit is plucked and eaten.’enyamwonyo’kwekura’eriibwa’. wait until 30s and u leaves ssengas asking questions. the man named jesus won’t mind though.
4. simple. george orwell gave the answer. some animals are….but for real andrew mwenda is a brand name. lillian barenzi once gave him a page in sunday vision, a piece our own baz nodded to before it run. that’s when i knew he had become a brand name.
5. VIPs have urgent state matters 2 attent to. or they are Very Improved Peasants [that copied from Pablo] gettin the feel of speed.
8. no more term limits. sevo free 2 stay on. why should that alarm anybody?
9. many african countries have made cars. made many myself, out of bicycle spokes when i was a boy. was not supported by gov’t. that ended it all.
10.we have read so much about that place and gone bald. who wants fatal arrows or gun shots whizzing over our heads in the name of serving the nation. sneer if u want but that’s it. -
forget 2 say kalyegira once wrote a nice story about a kampalan who made a car and tried it out on our roads and got arrested for it. will dig it up hopefully i’ll find it. listen baz, this is a story tip!
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The UFO thing is bse, when it lands in africa we oft think and attribute it to some god or spirit saying something…remember In the Gods must be carzy when the coca cola bottle foell from a copter and the bush man thought the god had sent them something…
3. Listen to Petsmama.
Andrew Mwenda was arrested??/ I didn’t know!
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2. There’s this new airline, Fly 540 which charges $79 for a return flight to Nairobi, $99 to mombasa,etc
Try http://www.fly540.com
I was at the official launch last week& though i am yet to try it out, i hear its a good deal. -
@Xena, I flew 540 last weekend. It is a small aircraft, so it takes about 90 minutes, instead of 45 minutes for the NBI-EBB ride. Don’t be fooled by the $79. It is tax exclusive. The round trip came to $270 with tax, which was about Ushs. 460,000. Considering I flew from Copenhagen to Paris for $145 last April, the NBI-EBB trip is still a huge, huge con.
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1. because there’s only so much that can be done about it ?
2. lack of competition, gas prices, regulatory issues
3. patricarchy
4. because Mwenda is good at making publicity stunts and has friends who will relay the info.
6. because we know they’re witches, not UFOs
9. countries don’t make cars, car companies do. and I think Toyota had a car designed and manufactured in SA. -
Still waiting for 27th to comment…
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On number 4, Mwenda is well connected! He has marketed himself widley! But let’s face it, he might be close to a genius! Not sure though!
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On number 4, Mwenda is well connected! He has marketed himself widely! But let’s face it, he might be close to a genius! Not sure though!
