And Then Blogging Makes Sense …

Corny lyrical revisionism courtesy of that cheesy Whitney Houston song –

You’ll never blog alone

(Though) I’ll (not) be standing by

I’ll only read you when I’m bored

I’ll mock you when you cry …

In March last year, I blogged about the fate of one of the most prominent landmarks in Masindi, SS Robert Corydon.

It was a Class A ferry of the best kind in the world; modern amenities and a “top-billed” crew. Winston Churchill even described it as having “the best library afloat.”

Alas, the wonder days of the SS Robert Coryndon were short lived.  It sunk in 1964 and has been abandoned ever since.

I had no information about it apart from what I’d seen at the Butiaba Port on Lake Albert and what I’d combed from the World Wide Web.

More than a year later, I got a response!

This is from Jaffer A. Kapasi OBE, a well known Ugandan Asian in the UK.

My father Akbarali Allibhai Kapasi bought this ship from east African railways and harbours in 1965 with the intention of converting this great ship into a floating hotel. We had to leave Uganda Idi Amin expulsion of the Ugandan Asians. We would like to make contacts with the family of Mr Robert Coryndon to share our record of our activities during our ownership.

Breakthrough!

Here’s a picture of Akbarali Allibhai Kapasi’s shop in Masindi prior to the Asian expulsion in 1972.

Of course I had no contacts, but then this is how blogging makes sense …

Blacula II: A Ugandan Vampire Rises

I’m a vampire.

Don’t snigger, I am!  I swear!

What is this you are saying?  Vampires don’t exist?

What? Ati not in Uganda?

I admit I’m not what you’d expect.  Heck, I’m not what I should expect I should look or our sound like.  I’m not handsome.  I don’t brood in dark corners.  I’m not charismatic.  Chiefly, I’m not white.

I’m a pudgy, middle-aged man with an irritating nasal voice.  I enjoy the sun, I’m sociable, I love to dance and I have irritable bowel syndrome.  It’s a mixture of bad genes, good luck and the inevitability of mutation.

I’m not what you expected, eh?

I don’t bite necks (any more), I stalk the blood donation drives for the hope of a free sample, I’m strong (willed), I can fly (in my dreams) and I regularly commune with the Devil (inside me).

I knew you wouldn’t understand.

You kids … your generation has been spoiled.  You are unwilling to explore the possibility that a world exists past your glossy magazines, your TV screens, Hollywood and Facebook.  This nonsense, ati Eclipse, Vampire Diaries, True Blood, is all it is; nonsense.

Dracula; what was that?  A bat?  And don’t get me started on Khayman and Thuringwethil.  Pompous pretenders!  What did they really know about The Blood?  The Hunt?  The Kill?

I come from a long line of vampires.  My family is quite well known, actually.  We are the bazimamoto.  The banyama. Everyone knows what we do, but no one can confirm it.  It’s all open.  It’s all hushed.  We are sunlight and we are shadow.  You see us. You don’t see us at all.

Now why are you laughing?  Oh, you can’t imagine a man of my size disappearing into the shadows.  Very funny.  You won’t be laughing tonight!

So Proud of this Kid

This blogger … I’m so proud.

Click the picture for the full article.

Death of the Watchdog?

A little-reported event occurred at City Hall in Kampala on Saturday.

Members of the Uganda Journalists’ Association voted for a new executive. (Full disclosure: I’m not a member.)

To summarize the chaotic proceedings, it was a joke.  Chaos over the association’s constitution, armed police barring observers, allegations of voter bribing, the works!

And then there was the ghost of the Ushs 150 million ‘donated’ to the association by President Yoweri Museveni hovering in the air.

Ambition

African Centre for Media Excellence

A great Ugandan media resource.

Analysis, news, blogs, pictures, debate.

Welcome ACME.

Arty Farty Week is Back again!

And its free!!!

Three things:

ONE

The “Me and My Totem” exhibition at the Uganda Museum comes to an end on Wednesday September 15th before moving on to the International School of Uganda for the rest of the month. The exhibition is great, but the prices are clearly meant for pockets deeper than mind.

Catch it while you can.

More info on the exhibition is available here.

TWO

If you are looking for the latest in publishing in Uganda, why not visit the Book Week Festival 2010?  The festival is taking place at the Railway Gardens (gardens, ha!) all week.

Dear Hagfish Queen

Dear Hagfish Queen,

We your servants are waiting.

From Daily Monitor - Sept 13, 2010

Humbly we pray, rule over us faithful Ugandan journalists. Envelope us with your slime and stench. Drag us through the muck.

We are bottom feeders all.

Yours in service,

Ugandan Insomniac

Dear Ugandan Voter

Dear Ugandan Voter,

How much do you cost?

5,000 shillings?  10,000?  Come on, push the bill a little.  200,000?  One million?

Don’t be afraid.  Vote buying was virtually endorsed in the recent National Resistance Movement primaries.  Ask for what you are worth.  Make that candidate burn his bucks on you.  You deserve it.

Ask for dollars.  Ask for rupees. Anything you want.  The election season is on and you can be bought.

Just sing the praise of a candidate and pledge your support.  Chant slogans, wear a T-shirt and in the right time and place, take your reward.

Oh and don’t be worried about getting caught.  Just do as Mr. Hides and Skins Tycoon did.  Punch a journalist in the face.  You’ll be questioned by the police for simple assault and let off with a slap on the wrist.  No one will give a second look to the TV footage played day on day of you handing out money to an official from the electoral commission.

You’ll be a hero in your party.  You’ll be a star.  And we all know, stat tafa.

So go on, set your price.  Tell me how much you cost.

Waiting patiently,

Ugandan Insomniac