Jazzing Up My Talent

I have no real talents to boast of.   

I can’t sing, I can’t draw, I can’t act and I can’t write.  I am not an orator, an astute mathematician or a philosopher.  I’m not good at making friends, losing friends or being a friend.  I am blah. 

What I have is a real fake talent.  It’s the ability to look cool by being with people who are cool.  I can sound intelligent by mimicking the truly intelligent.  It appears that I can sing merely because I have learned the lingo: off key, on key, crescendo, diminuendo; flats, sharps; transposition, not modulation … I am a sponge.  I am beautiful and great and strong and the minions look at me in awe and I need to wake up from this delusion … 

It turns out that I am losing that one ‘talent’ unfortunately.  A week ago, I watched the Ryan Cohan Jazz Quartet in concert at Club Obbligato in Kampala.  I’ve told everyone who has had the misfortune of listening to me about the show.  I’ve been saying the right things, borrowed things nonetheless, but the right things. 

I’ve told of the intensity, emotion, dynamic and in-the-moment playing of the quartet.  That Ryan Cohan is very much in demand as a pianist, composer and arranger and that he has performed with the very best: Kurt Elling, Curtis Fuller, Regina Carter.  That he is sensitive in the way he touches the piano and the way he allows his instrument to resonate his is greatest asset, bringing to mind greats like Ahmad Jamal and Oscar Peterson. 

No one has been impressed.  Absolutely no one.  I don’t know why.  It has worked before.  I swear it has.  In May last year it even got me kissed by a handsome, sexy Whatnot in a cozy, smoking Copenhagen jazz bar. 

Oh well. 

Here’s my last attempt at grandeur.

In case you are a real Jazz Head, there are a couple of really good jazz blogs at Jazz FM.Com (my personal favorite and the archived shows are great), the Jazz and Blues Lounge, Smooth Jazz Blog and Jazz Animated.

Stumbling upon History

The beauty of attempting (and failing and trying and failing and trying) to date a man of South East Asian descent is that I meet all sorts of old ‘East African Asians’ with a wealth of knowledge about the City I call my home. The most recent nugget of information I have received has helped me inch on in my search for more details of the history (1900 – 1962) of major buildings in Kampala.

This building was constructed in 1929 by the Arya Samaj.  Arya Samaj, a Hindu reform movement, was established in Uganda in 1908 and was very active in East Africa until the Indian community was thrown out of the country by Idi Amin. 

Since its constuct the Arya Samaj building has been used as a hostel, a sports center, a girls’ primary school and a detention center for Idi Amin’s government.  Arya Primary School was managed by Kampala City Council in the 1970s and renamed City Primary School.  It was repossessed by the original owners just over ten years ago and ‘renovated’ it. 

The writing on the building is Sanskrit for “Om” which is considered by the Arya Samaj to be the highest and most proper name of God. 

What I find interesting is that the general architecture of the Arya Samaj building bears strong similarities to the High Court building in Kampala and that’s not only because the clocks on both buildings don’t work.  (Psst, person with info on the history of the High Court building, I’ll buy you a beer and kiss your feet in exchange for The File.)

Oh, and on other issues not related this post, looky hiyah at what I found!  This sadly neglected blog satisfies (for the time being at least) my hunger for knowledge about the socio-economics of Kampala in the 1960s and ‘70s.  His preoccupation with The Last King of Scotland is quite interesting and his tongue-in-cheek observations about the lives of East African Asians are hilarious. Enjoy!

Saying Nothing, Going Nowhere

I don’t know why I’m cooped up at home every weekend with nothing to do and nowhere to go when I could very easily become this kind of fanatic. 

Sign posts in Kampala elicit extreme emotions from me.  I can’t decide whether to laugh my head off or pull out my tongue with pliers.

If you look really hard, some animals look more human than humans.

There is something depressingly hopeful about abandoned slippers and a deserted road.  It’s the knowledge that chaos, abuse and nothingness blogs eventually come to an end.  

So …?!

Uganda has:

• An adult literacy rate of 66.8%

• A combined primary, secondary and tertiary gross enrollment ratio of 66.1%

 Kampala City Council has:

• A seven-year-old Solid Waste Management Ordnance (and yes, I am aware it hasn’t yet been implemented)

• Contracted one large firm to collect public waste, another to sweep the streets and licensed more than ten private companies to manage private garbage disposal

 So …?!

Eid Mubarak.