Waiting with Bated Breath


UBHH tomorrow!  UBHH tomorrow!  UBHH tomorrow! 

(Editorial correction ;-) The above sentence should read UBHH tomorrow-but-one, etc, etc

I have so much to do before the rendezvous with the blogren at Mateos.  What to do … where to start … 

  • Must buy a corset to save self from pain of constantly sucking in stupid expanding midriff

  • Must visit Best Friend for tips on make up to give self Nicole Kidman cheek bones, Kerry Washington lips and Tyra Banks eyes

  • Must buy comb to organize mop on head to look slightly presentable

  • Must trim nails to remove the makakya from last night’s matooke preparation and squeeze in a pedicure to scrub off the enkyakya

  • Must watch neighbor’s cat more closely since have been told to walk like that animal is to walk sexy

  • Must Google AC Top 10 to sound modern, but sophisticated.  Must remember to copy New York Times bestseller list on hand to randomly shout out impressive titles if need arises

  • Must learn where Darfur is, why Japanese Prime Minister resigned, if Nakapiripirit is in Uganda and whether Borat is really from Kazakhstan

  • Must cram chapter one of “Dummies Guide to Opening Mouth” and must remember to pick up “Dummies Guide to Opening Mouth and Speaking” in preparation for October’s UBHH

  • Must learn how to have An Opinion and Take A Position on things that self doesn’t care about

  • Must call more attractive, clever look-alike cousin to be on standby to impersonate self, if self is overcome with fear

 Must go for UBHH … maybe.

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21 Responses to “Waiting with Bated Breath”

  1. You already have Tyra Banks eyes. Actually, Tyra could be flabberwhelmed on learning I just said that. ;-)

    Eh. Your list – I could benefit from it. :-D

    Wait. The day is … on … Thursday, no? 27th, right? So that should be … Thursday, yeah. Thursday. Phew. I had started to panic, because it takes me a whole 24 hours to make my boots stop looking like kitten poop! :-o
    (And, I swear to God, I will cry if you dodge the UBHH.)

  2. But you have to come, it’s going to be so much fun, I promise. Do come.

  3. Dee, you are two minutes ahead of me. And I was typing all along … :-(

  4. You also have one of those stupid expanding midriffs? Pesky things!

  5. Flabberwhelmed? That dude needs to stop!

  6. make that two.two corsets. then we link up before so i can put on mine too.

  7. make that two.two corsets then we link up so i can also put on mine.

  8. count me in if tum is in!

  9. While you are out getting yours kindly book for a sister one

  10. @Ivan: Heh. :-D I learnt flabberwhelmed from Samalie.
    And I’m serious – Tyra Banks would be struck speechless with envy if she bothered to check this combo, for example … ;-)

  11. “Represent, represent!”

    Excuse me, been listening to Illmatic again. Blame Baz!

  12. rotflol! or should i try one of these newer funky LMAO’s? whatever. this is hilarious.
    must sleep, no?

  13. I could do with the titles, haven’t read a book in ages.Oh and that dummies guide too.

  14. @ Dee – Yes, the eyes changed. They change all the time to reflect my mood. I’m not feeling as angry as I was a few weeks ago.

  15. Why do I feel left out???


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