Explaining Myself

Why I am a murderer:

Goosey, goosey, gander, whither dost thou wander?

Upstairs and downstairs and in my lady’s chamber.

There I met an old man who wouldn’t say his prayers;

I took him by the left leg and threw him down the stairs.

Why I am a bad mother:

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe

She had so many children she didn’t know what to do.

She gave them some broth, without any bread,

And whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.

Why I eloped:

Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle,

The cow jumped over the moon.

The little dog laughed to see such a sport,

And the dish ran away with the spoon.

 Why I am a bad artist:  

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Why I am lazy:

Little boy blue come blow your horn

The sheep is in the meadow, the cow is in the corn.

Where is the little boy tending the sheep?

He’s under the haystack, fast asleep.

Will you wake him up?

No, not I.

For if I do, he’s sure to cry.

Why I don’t trust the healthcare system:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

All the king’s horses and all the king’s men

Couldn’t put Humpty together again.

 Why I can’t sleep at night:

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Inspiration for this post courtesy of Ivan, Kissyfur, Mr. Back2Basics, Tandra, Darlkom, The Esquire and Rohan Candappa author of one of my all time favorite books, Autobiography of a One-Year-Old.

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8 Comments to “Explaining Myself”

  1. <i shall never look at nursery rhymes the same way again, someone did contend, humpty was pushed! i shall send in CSI to process the scene….

    i have one answer for you…an ad running on Kenyan tv…”My name is Peter Marangi, and i know about PAINT”

    those horrid images masquerading as teletubbies…ugh!!

  2. You are cracking me up with your excuses.
    Hm, but then again, Hey diddle diddle was my fave, is that why I was the first of my sisters to get married?

  3. You just made me stagger off me chair laughing.

  4. teletubbies, teletubbies… indeed a reason for lack of sleep!

  5. dunno whata say! honestly.

  6. Remember,

    I won’t go to school any more more MORE!
    There’s a big fat teacher at the door door DOOR!
    She pulls my ears and pulls my hair
    I won’t go to school any more more MORE!
    (Sadist!!!)

    OR

    Higgely Piggely my fine hen
    She lays eggs for gentlemen
    Gentlemen come every day
    To see what my fine hen doth lay
    Sometimes nine
    Sometimes ten
    Higgely Piggely my fine hen
    (Perverts!)

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