Archive for ‘Coming up empty’

March 31, 2013

Dark Ages

Nietzsche knew what he was talking about apparently.

Perhaps I’ll find my salvation here.

Possibly, perchance, conceivably …

Because it’s getting dark again.

August 16, 2012

Obama Girl?

In the impoverished township of Teberebie, Ghana on the outskirts of the AngloGold Ashanti mine.

August 10, 2012

Paying Homage

Seen in Osu, Accra

April 29, 2012

Rumor City, South Sudan

Matthew 24:6

And ye will hear of war and rumors of war …

Talks that are not talks at all. The fear about a conflict so far from my reality, but so near. The military ever present on the sidelines; always present in our presence.

Rumor City, South Sudan:

  • The coup attempt on was Kiir really real; wasn’t it?
  • The SPLA violently conscripting young impressionable men in the countryside.
  • Sudan isn’t acting alone, but with the help of greedy oil companies in Asia.
  • Kiir’s visit to China a negotiation of a new arms deal.
  • Has the AU been bought to distance itself from South Sudan’s cause?
  • Is the road to the airport arbitrarily closed off throughout the day to prevent the public from seeing the return of dozens of dead soldiers from the border?
  • Did the town officials in Malakal turn a blind eye to the invasion of their territory by SAF on Friday night?
  • The cabinet too sharply divided over the “withdrawal” from Heglig to come to a meaningful resolution … that’s what I heard …

Hail Juba, Rumor City!

April 25, 2012

South Sudan: Making My Mistakes Backwards

“Learn from my mistakes!”

How many times I was told that as a child! How many times I ignored it and still do.

Force-feeding the wisdom of the ages to toddlers just makes them resentful.

It’s like this sculpture I saw yesterday at the Nyakuron Cultural Center in Juba: help is offense; passion is power; love is trial.

It’s easy for me to be frustrated by South Sudan. Angered even. Then I remember: the folly of youth is youth.

Ah, the endless possibilities! The world is for your taking, but it’s just out of your reach. It’s all exciting and new.

There’s so much you can learn …

… but you won’t.

There’s so much you can take …

… but you don’t.

There’s so much you can do …

… but …

Their mistakes are your mistakes and yours for your children’s children to inherit. Even when you have the upper hand. Even when you are growing backwards.

So the politics are as dry as the taps. The streets are filled with garbage. The city is an unplanned mess. The politics is as dry as the taps. The disillusionment of a nation so new is palpable.

Maybe there’s hope.

If only South Sudan can stop making our mistakes.

Backwards.

April 20, 2012

Not-Me

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now in the hour of our death.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now in the hour of our death.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now in the hour of our death.

Not-Catholic. Not-religious.  I believe. Sure, I believe. In God, His existence, His purpose. As taught to me. As taught to me to believe. As believed by me to believe.

I don’t know any other prayers. Real prayers. I don’t know that I should pray, but as I hold her hand, the liturgy is comforting and so I say. I say, in my head, over and over and over …

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now in the hour of our death.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now in the hour of our death.

She doesn’t know me. Not really. She knows my name, but never bothers to say it. She knows that we share the same class, my grades on that Literature test I failed. She handed it over to me with a smirk. I remember. I remember everything. Some things. Not-things. The smirk that said, “I’m better than you.”

Not-me. Better than.

Holy Mary …

December 14, 2011

Of Uganda’s Jewels, Conservation and My White Men Zombies

This was the fulfillment of a dream and the beginning of a new era of preservation. That night, the lions roared, and Ken Beaton and I jumped over the moon.

(Mervyn Cowie – Kenya’s first director of National Parks, on birth of East Africa’s first National Park- Nairobi National Park 1946- 1950.)

Under this ruined headstone at the Entebbe European Cemetery lie the remains of Kenneth De Planta Beaton. The man whose pioneering efforts set up Uganda’s jewels, the Queen Elizabeth and Murchison Fall parks, is discarded and forgotten.

Ken Beaton (1905 – 1954): a naturist, a conservationist, to some a fantasist; a man born of Africa, with a heart for Uganda.

(Read obituary below)

I have learned pitifully little about Ken Beaton, despite the depth of his work and the reach of his legacy.

This is what I know:

He was born to Captain Duncan Beaton and Alice De Planta in Malawi.

October 15, 2011

When the Answer isn’t the Answer but the Answer

I have no comment.

No, really.

Nothing. Ekkert. Nada. Khe chaina. Zilch. Zero about the news that Cousin Obama has “authorized a small number of combat-equipped U.S. forces to deploy to central Africa to provide assistance to regional forces that are working toward the removal of Joseph Kony from the battlefield.”

So it’s bad limerick time. Ole!

In my country there was a big war

That the whole world did choose to ignore

Then Obama said, “Wait!

That’s a horrible fate!”

Noble, maybe; but frankly a bore.

Next week in the continuing saga of My Comment Is Not Important, But I am Desperately Vain So I have A Blog …

My country is in a big mess

So I’m buying a funeral dress …

January 16, 2011

Stripped

Naked is a funny word.

Bare, uncovered, exposed, desolate, stripped. Naked.

Naked like my emotions. Masking how hurt I am, how bored I am, how few the moments of joy … See me.  See me!  I’m bitter.  I’m lonely.  I’m joyful.  I’m mad.

Naked like my ambitions. Still wishing to be. Knowing that I never will. My ambition is to have ambition. My ambition is weak. Empty. My career is a lie. The end.

Naked like my religion.  The futility of my reason is exposed and found wanting.  My faith is fickle, but my God is strong. Choosing to believe when I’d rather not. “Foul, I to the fountain fly; wash me Savior or I die.”

Naked is a funny word.  A funny, beautiful, devastating word.

October 20, 2010

The World Weird Web Comes Calling

This is an award-winning blog, FYI.

(Please allow the illogical start of this sentence with: Hilarity Ensued) when I was informed that a site called Medical Billing and Coding named the Ugandan Insominac one of the 2010 Top 10 Insomnia Blogs (in the World I insist).

The reason for the award is ambiguous as that of the awarder.  It appears the only criterion is that I had ‘insomnia’ in my blog name.

Who cares?  The widget I was given may contain numerous unwanted thingamajigs, but yay! This is an award winning blog exclamation mark and another exclamation mark.

Other notable mentions go to:

Diary of a Crafty Insomniac – “Definitively different distinctive designs”

An Insomniac Geek – “I was about to write about procrastination, but I’ll do that later”

Incurable Insomniac – “Night time is really the best time to work …”

Insomniac Mummy: Sleepless in Surburbia

Owaye.

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